Dear Internal Revenue Service:Enclosed you will find my 2005 tax return, showing that I owe $3,407.00 in taxes. Please note the attached article from the USA Today newspaper, dated 12 November, wherein you will see the Pentagon [Department of Defense] is paying $171.50 per hammer and NASA has paid $600.00 per toilet seat.
I am enclosing four [4] toilet seats [valued @ $2,400.00] and six [6] hammers [valued @ $1,029.00], which I secured at Home Depot, bringing my total remittance to $3,429.00.
Please apply the overpayment of $22.00 to the "Presidential Election Fund", as noted on my return.
You can do this inexpensively by sending them one [1] 1.5" Phillips Head screw [see afore mentioned article from USA Today newspaper detailing how H.U.D. pays $22.00 each for 1.5" Phillips Head screws]. One screw is enclosed for your convenience.
It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year.
Most sincerely,
A Satisfied Taxpayer
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